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Google: Anti-Family & Anti-Me

Posted on by Mike Poserina in Rants

A few months back, Google sent me Survey request email.  Normally I ignore them, basically because Im fairly content with the current state of customer service and usability of the systems.  But this time Google offered a Free Gift. Who wouldn”t give 15 min of their time for free Google Schwag? So I participated.

3 weeks later I get a package:

google_gift_bottleBeing an avid outdoors enthusiast, I was ecstatic that I got a quality product with Google plastered over it!  This will go great with my: Crank Flashlight/Radio, Frisbee, Lava Lamp, USB drive, T-shirts and various other chotchskies they”ve given me over the years.

I was however dismayed to find out that Google was in-fact trying to scramble my brain, prevent me from having children, and ultimately kill me!  You see, I just recently read a report about Bisphenol contained in polycarbonate plastics and learned that:

“BPA mimics estrogens, binding to the same receptors throughout the human body as natural female hormones. And tests have shown that the chemical can promote human breast cancer cell growth as well as decrease sperm count in rats, among other effects.”

Any plastic which you encounter with a #7 listed on the bottom should be avoided.


Normaly I would be eating my red M&M”s & washing it down with my Google bottle full of milk, but I really believe that this one is not good for you. I”m not sure why companies are making products out of this material but perhaps they could use some sort of a lead-based paint to seal the Bisphenol in and prevent it from seeping into the water.  Hmm… I”m sure they could outsourse the reconditioning to one of the many reputable manufacuring companies in Bejing for next to nothing.

Do no Evil pshaw!  I shall destroy my water bottle and save my brain cells so that I might find new and more innovating ways of lowering our clients average CPC.

Your move Google.

If we are talking about Google, let’s have a look and discuss about keywords with zero impressions.

In the quest to create a truly epic pay per click campaign, our intrepid search marketer often runs the gamut of keywords, from the obvious to the creative to the downright silly.

But no matter how stupid “paper click” might sound as a keyword, there’s at least one person out there who’s going to search that exact phrase, right?


Oftentimes, depending on how enthusiastic the search marketer might be, an account can accumulate hundreds of keywords that never get any impressions at all, leaving one to wonder: is it really worth it, keeping all these zero impression keywords?


Generally speaking, it’s a good idea to cull any non-performing keywords, especially since a large number of them make it more difficult to manage your account. For the most part, they’re really not adding anything of value, since their click through rate is technically at zero percent.

On the other hand, a CTR of zero percent doesn’t necessarily lower your Quality Score, at least according to our Google sources. While CTR plays a major role in determining a keyword’s Quality Score, it’s not the only factor, not by a long shot. The historical performance of the keyword across Google’s entire system, the past performance of your display URL, the overall performance of your account—all of these go into the equation that churns out your Quality Score.

So while it’s safe to assume that most zero impression keywords are clogging up your account, it’s the Quality Score that ultimately decides whether a keyword is worth keeping or not. If the Quality Score is less than five, or otherwise significantly lower than the rest, your best course of action is to delete the keyword.

And if the Quality Score is good? It definitely doesn’t hurt to let it hang around a little while longer. A high quality keyword is better than nothing, right?